JoyfulGirl: An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.

An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.

19 Sep 2011 at 07:52
I'm going to be honest. I like dating about as much as I like going to the dentist or doing my taxes. But, like anything else generally worthwhile, I'm willing to invest a little awkwardness and discomfort for the end reward: a decent companion that tolerates me and who occasionally will pet me on the head and throw me a cookie. To get there, I have to go on a series of "dates", which is just an nice word for "interview."
So, recently, I've been going on dates. And, more and more I've found the pretense of clothing and image a greater obstacle to over-come in getting to know someone. My expectations, initially, were that nude dating would be significantly more intimidating than dating in the textile world. But, I've found (rather quickly, at that) that nude dating is a welcoming and refreshing change from the neurotic and status-obsessed culture that I'm immersed in 90% of the time. Dating nude allows me to say "what-the-hell", and relinquishes me from the pressure of having to appear hip, put-together, and color-coordinated. In short, I get to let go of certain parts of my ego and pretense, and be who I truly am, as bare and as authentically as possible. I feel that my personality is not hindered or magnified by a projection of Image. I find myself less anxious before my nude dates, because my Type A personality can let go of worrying about how something looks on me, or if my shoes go with my handbag. Instead, I focus on who I am meeting and what we're going to be doing. I feel more present and connected to the person I meet in the nude, because we are both equally vulnerable and naked. The playing ground is a little more level, and the bullshit factor is significantly reduced. And, when and if it comes time for intimacy, then I don't have to spend any wasted energy worrying about if my partner will accept my body the way it is. They know what I look like, and have accepted me if we've made it to that point.
My forays into the textile dating world are growing tedious. So much ado about nothing. So much ado about far too many things that just don't COUNT. So, as I get ready for my dinner date tonight in the clothed community, I make an effort to adjust my attitude. I'll have fun. This person is going to be interesting, and since I could talk the paint off the wall....I'm sure the conversation will flow. But, damn, these heels are gonna kill me.


  • 18 Oct 2011 at 21:43
    Dear JoyfulGirl,

    I am not writing because I think I am a fine match for your criteria, (who doesn't want a wealthy six footer?), but because I am intrigued by your essay, "An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure." I have not read so scathing a rejection of textilaty put into such positive terms. It should be required reading for everyone. Following your lead the world could become a far better place. Congratulations!

    May I copy your essay and send it on to my small circle of friends? They would certainly benefit from reading it.

  • 20 Oct 2011 at 14:20
    Bmelch, you are absolutely welcome to share my blog. I have more posts to come. And, thank you, thank you, thank you for your response!
  • 12 Mar 2012 at 19:38
    That was a great read! I think you captured so many feelings about dating as well as nudism in general. Glad to have such a well-spoken advocate out there!

  • 7 Jul 2012 at 12:52
    Loved it!... great blog!.. so when's the next installment?
  • 4 Aug 2012 at 00:43
    Next installment coming soon... :-) I've been too busy to write much recently.
  • 18 Aug 2012 at 08:09
    Wouldn't life be so grand if we all could just meet at a resort sans clothes and just have a "regular" date. That would be so nice. Hell I just have trouble finding women in my area that will accept that I like to do things nude. Worse yet I haven't even been swimming this summer because I just don't like swim trunks. I hope that will all change soon as I am hoping to relocate to within an hour of national beachfront... Wish me luck.
  • 10 Jul 2015 at 17:53
    I notice it's been awhile since anyone responded to your essay. May I say I hope you are still of the same thinking as I'm looking for a woman of your intelligence and beliefs. Ever been to 'Vegas?

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